Understanding women is key to avoiding rejection. They say that asking a girl out is a form of art. A thing of beauty that can turn ugly if you don’t know how to prepare.
Few things are scarier than asking a girl out. Waiting with bated breath for her answer is nerve wracking. And the result can be an ego-boosting experience or a ball-busting humiliation.
The standards set by women when it comes to dating has risen over the years with the advent of social media and advanced technology where vast information is just at the tip of your fingers.
Understanding women should be your priority before attempting to ask a woman out. The pressure has never been higher on men nowadays when it comes to asking women for dates. It can be argued that the art of dating has lost its artform with all the online dating sites that abound nowadays.
But it doesn’t have to be.
People generally tend to go with what’s trending or what’s popular but in the dating world, you have to be creative and daring at some point to stand out among the tribe.
Understanding women will lead you to know that their standards have changed dramatically for the better as they have become more independent, smart and empowered. Gone were the days when women were just expected to marry and stay at home while the husbands work.
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Now, women are now equal to men in many ways and some of them might be better off than some men in terms of career, education and experience.
Women today expect the best of the best in all things and this is especially true when it comes to dating.
For you to stand a chance of landing that coveted coffee meet-up, lunch date, or if you’re lucky – dinner, you have to start understanding women and their tendencies to avoid the pitfalls of rejection.
And what’s the best way to do this? You must know the reasons why she will say no so you would not fall into the easy trap of committing them.
They say that ignorance is bliss but not in the dating world. In dating, not understanding women and ignorance will kill you so read on to find out how to survive and avoid rejection when asking her out.
Below are the 5 reasons why she will say no.
1. You Have Low Standards
Women now are more modern and sophisticated in so many ways.
Needless to say, women’s standards have been raised. For you to succeed with women, you have to raise your own standards to match with theirs.
And women are very intuitive when it comes to men.
They will know instantly if you are into them and will also know how you view them. Do you treat and view women as sexy objects or do you see them as people with substance and meaning that goes beyond just the physical?
Women will read into these even if you show them in the subtlest way. Remember, they are very intuitive so make sure that you only communicate good, positive and wholesome vibes.
Don’t call her sexy but instead compliment her by saying she looks beautiful. Don’t call her honey or dear or sweetheart even if you just meant to be cool and funny. Call her by her first name and look her in the eyes when you do.
The women of today put more effort and time ruling men out than ruling them in, says Marin Battista, CEO and founder of Dating with Dignity. And this is all due to the high standards that they hold men onto.
Assess yourself and do a bit of self-reflection prior to asking a girl out. Ask yourself if you think you stack out fine against her standards. And if you don’t, then raise your standards or else brace yourself for a rough ride.
How do you raise your standards, you may ask? It can take so many forms but you can start with the way you look and act or how you present yourself.
If she shows a sharp fashion sense, make sure that you also dress nice and neat. If she is a foodie and enjoys fine dining, make sure you don’t bring here to a burger joint.
Start with the little things and with what you initially know about her and take it from there.
If you are not sure at first, make sure you err on the side of caution and play it safe.
Make sure you always dress nice, talk respectfully and act graciously. That will at least put her at ease and make her feel comfortable which will set the right mood
2. You don’t act your age
There’s a saying that boys will always be boys but you don’t have to take this literally.
Boys will always be boys in certain ways but being immature or childish in front of women while trying to ask them out on a date is a straight beeline towards rejection island.
Today’s women are more sophisticated than ever and not only are they more mature than men in so many ways but they are also smart and very discerning.
They want their men to be real in the real sense of the word. Not men who are physically grown but still acts like teenagers.
This is not saying that you act like one but she will think you are if you keep bringing up your superhero comic books or your video game memorabilia whenever you try to fill an awkward silence
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Unless she’s into that sort of things as well, which is highly unlikely, you should leave that teenage boy personal of yours the minute you step into the dating scene with the intention of landing a date with her.
You can show here that lighter or “immature” side of yours once you’ve progressed through the relationship BUT not before the first date.
Understanding women is all about anticipating what they like. Start by acting your age first and maybe she will notice you.
3. You don’t have a source of income
This is a deal breaker on the get go.
If you are not gainfully employed or doesn’t have any business to speak of, and women you ask shy away from you or doesn’t agree to go out with you, there must be a direct correlation.
As sad as it seems, one of the reasons why women say no is due to the scarcity vibes that you might be giving out.
Women look for someone to take care of them in the near and long term so if they can’t be certain that you will be that guy, they won’t even take the chance to go out on a date with you.
Some women might still go out with you even if you are in between jobs right now as long as you can show them that you are a motivated individual determined to make something of yourself.
If you have been employed for a long time and you are just taking a break and figuring your next move, that can be a valid reason for your current situation.
Some women might still be willing to go out with you in spite of the circumstances but you have to prove down the road, if your relationship progresses, that you will get back in the horse and find a stable source of income.
The important thing is to show her that you are not a couch potato. You have to show her that you are an achiever that will be able to provide for her and someone she can rely on.
Part of the process of understanding women is recognizing the fact that they expect you to be able to provide for her materially? Show her you’re capable and confident but it will be hard to do if you are broke.
4. You show no interests in her wants
One of the key aspects of landing that date is for you to have the same wavelengths with her.
Remember that having the same wants and needs and interests make a relationship click easily and seamlessly. One of the main reasons why women say no is due to lack of chemistry.
If you are just looking for a casual relationship at most, or casual sex at the least, then the woman you ask for a date might not go out with you for long.
She might say yes and go out on a first date but that’s all you’re going to get – a first date.
If you approach her in a club or a bar by saying “Hey sexy” and she is looking for more than just a casual fling, you will get rejected.
Women these days are very intuitive and can gauge your intention in a blink of an eye so make sure that you use the right approach or else you will go out in a blaze of “unglory”.
If she says no then most probable she is getting the wrong reading from you. Try to change your approach to make it more align with her expectations.
Remember, same wavelengths is the key.
Not fully understanding women tendencies? Try paying attention to her wants and interests.
5. She’s just not feeling it
This might be the simplest realization but one that probably hurts the most – she’s just not into you.
At least for now. And this could be for a variety of reasons, not including the four reasons discussed above.
She might be currently dating someone and therefore not available. Or she could be getting over someone or recovering from a bad relationship and just needs time for now.
Or she just doesn’t like you, plain and simple. Maybe she will change her mind someday or maybe she won’t. In cases like this, the recommended action is to move on.
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Unless you really like her and wants to give it a chance then by all means, continue to pursue her. But you got to be realistic in your expectations.
The important thing is you should not take things personally. Her reason for not liking you could be due to a million reasons and none of which has nothing to do with you.
Should you plan to get back to her and ask her again in the future, your chance of being successful with her will depend on how you react to this rejection now.
Deal with it gracefully and you remain in the contention. But becoming nasty, bitter and mean about it will virtually wash away your chance with her now and in the future.
In Conclusion
In the end, landing a date with the woman you like boils down to chemistry and connection.
And although it’s hard to establish early on if you have that with a woman, having the initial connection is important to get your foot on the proverbial door.
The first four reasons why women say no to a date is something that is within your control. If you are willing to do the actions to change for the better, you can increase your chances of getting a yes.
You just need to commit and persevere. After all, dating is not a sprint but a process that involves the right strategy and planning and yes, a little bit of Lady Luck.
But of course they say that luck comes to those who are prepared so there’s that, too.
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